Is He the One?

Anyone who’s been practicing the Wait for some time has likely been down this road before—and probably more than once.

Someone catches your eye and slowly, you find yourself checking for signs that they might be interested in you. Soon, you're sitting there thinking to yourself, “I wonder if this is the one.”

Sound familiar?

For my ladies in particular, it’s understandable why we do this. When Adam and Eve fell into sin in Genesis, after all, one of God’s curses to women was that from then on our desire would be for our husband. This made it natural to be... we'll say, "curious" about the man with whom God intends for you to serve Him. 

Still, God's objective for our lives is not for us to be constantly worried about who we will marry/when they will arrive.

He's designed us for many more works than just marriage. So, even though our concerns are imperfectly natural, we don't want to be swarmed by them.

The problem is... most of us are already well aware of this information. You've probably even asked, "Why do I care whether this person is interested? Is 'the one' even out there?" Nevertheless, those unwanted worries about a potential mate/future partner seem to still just keep coming.

Well, we may not be able to control which thoughts come to us, but we can control whether we let them overtake us.

Challenge yourself. The next time you realize you're caught in another daydream about your fantasy life with a romantic suitor, break your entire train of thought and just go, “Oh, no thank you.”

Seriously. We can do that.

We have the power to identify compulsive thoughts regarding love (or anything, for that matter), and then elect not to entertain them. We can absolutely say, “I understand where these thoughts are coming from, and I acknowledge that they're here... but starting now, I am not going to engage in them.”

Using these cognitive interceptions will surely help your mind. You already know, though— we're going to go deeper still. Let's tackle these worries at the core of your heart.

You do not have to worry about any potential/future partner. Why ?

Because God has already worked out the details of every plan He has for you. This includes all your future relationships.

God speaks about His will for us all throughout His word. He gives us verse after verse to comfort us and to assure us that as long as we are in walking His will, His promises will arrive.

If it is in His will, God has already determined the best time, day, and place for you and your partner to meet. The answers to your prayers have already been set in stone by the Creator of the universe. He doesn't want you worrying about “who it will be" and "when it will happen.”

Instead, He wants you to channel your energy into submitting to His will for your life and trusting Him. 

Siblings in Christ, I understand what a struggle it is to trust God. Waiting for His plans for your future, is far easier said than done. Maybe you've been waiting a long time for your heart's desires to be fulfilled... but believe me when I say that God really does know what He's doing. He is wise and considerate for making us wait. Feel free to speak the following aloud to affirm yourself of just why His plans and timing are best:

“The longer I spend making God my only focus, the less likely I am to make any partner He has for me into an idol or false god.

The longer I spend alone with God, the less judgement, insecurity, selfishness, lust, and fear I will have in my character and potentially end up dragging into my relationship.

The less these things are present in me, the more freedom will be present in the relationship for both my partner & I.

That's what love should be: freedom to be completely ourselves (flaws and all), and to love each other... not with fear and self-interest, but with grace and selflessness. Because that is how God first loved us.

Perfect love casts out fear.

Only God's love is perfect, but if a romantic relationship is in His plans for me, He wants it to emulate Christ's love for the church. Therefore, the longer I walk alone with God, the more my potential relationship can mirror His love when it is time.”

Our thoughts and wills need to remain free for us to focus on doing God's work.

We can accomplish this and ease our minds by understanding that the more time we spend waiting and allowing God to be the One we focus on, the better.

Let's allow this knowledge to renew our desire to wait as long as He calls us to.

Let's begin releasing our worries and fully trusting Him to appoint the right person at the right time. We don't have to succumb to nagging thoughts regarding who will love us, because God is the One who loves us and truly knows best.